7 Steps to Make Money Online
Inspired by an egotistical moron who has no morals
1. Take a screenshot of a stock that is going up
You do not have to screenshot your actual returns. In fact, make sure you don’t. People don’t care about your actual returns they just want to see that you can identify the biggest mover during that day. You can easily do this by going to finviz.com and filter for the stock with the biggest gain.
2. Upload the screenshot to all your social media accounts
This is the most important step as it serves as a “sales funnel” to get your potential clients that you are going to scam. Make sure to strategically say something about your haters while uploading this screenshot.
Here’s an example:
3. Obtain a luxurious lifestyle
Most people rent Lambos but for most of us who cannot afford that, signing up for a luxury credit card will suffice. It can range from AMEX Gold to Chase Sapphire Reserve. If you do not have the funds for this, you can settle with the Apple Card, since it’s titanium and makes a nice sound when you drop it on the table.
4. Make sure everyone knows you are living luxury
How do you do this? SOCIAL MEDIA. This is the sales funnel I was talking about in step 2. You have to consistently feed your audience the luxurious lifestyle they can obtain if they continue following you. Also, don’t forget to caption it with something about how your haters doubted you but now you have a credit card.
5. Talk down on college degrees and 9–5 jobs
College is a scam
If you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs
Feed as many of these quotes daily to your audience, you have to ensure they hate their lives so much they will pay you to live yours.
6. Create your product
This can be a course where you teach people how to invest in the stock market or creating paid exclusive groups on Discord, Facebook, or any other social media. Remember to charge an insane amount for your product, $1,000–$3,000 for a course, and at least $300 a month for your exclusive groups. Essentially this gives them the phenomenon that your course is of high quality and value due to the premium price.
7. Enjoy your passive income
You finally made it! You faked it until you made it. You are now generating massive income passively, however, your journey doesn't end here. Make sure to reinvest that money to rent Lambos and huge mansions so you look more credible and therefore generate more revenue. I wish you the best of luck!
This article is for comedic purposes only, it should not be considered Financial or Legal Advice. Consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions.
